New Job

Note to self:

Positive attitude
Smile alot
Look interested in whatever interviewers are saying
Client awareness and good communication and business management skills are skills that i need to gain.
Do not take sides
Try to stay out of work politics if any.
Be fair.
No bad mouthing.
There will be people who hate me for no reason, and maybe some reason.

NZ

I'm really apprehensive about my trip to NZ. So many things that we planned to do have been suspended. The shotover jet, sky diving at fox glacier (not that i planned to sky dive). Another issue that worries me and has been bugging me is not suitable for public display on this blog.

I'm going to pray and hope that it works out.

I just need to remind myself that I am going to NZ to have fun. It is my graduation trip. And I don't wanna die. So even though shotover jet has been cancelled, I am thankful that I wasn't on the ride that caused it to be cancelled. I am going to make friends with people at hostels if I'm left alone on my own devices.

i don't want this to end up like my ex housemate and me. We are now mortal enemies.

Big mess.

Mama's right....
when people invite me to events, I don't go. When people go for things without me, I complain that they don't call me... what's wrong with me man...


on another note, packing up my room is a very slow and painful process. Half of me thinks its too early to start packing since I need half the things in my room now, and if i start packing the other half that i don't need there won't be any space in my room for me to walk. the other half of me thinks is hould get it going cos I have nothing better to do anyway.

oh well!

The end of the journey.

We got the "ok" that we passed our final year oral exams yesterday.


This is it. This is the end of the journey. The end of the beginning. The end of my university undergraduate life. What happens after this I do not know. But I will be taking a break from studying, that's for sure. I"m not even going to take NAVLES which everyone else seems to be taking! Hope I will not regret this 10, 20 years down the row.


This course has been very interesting. I entered into a niche course that has a wide diversity of jobs open to me when I graduate. This course has also been extremely tough. Course load was wayy too heavy. I had very little work life balance, it was easy to score in exams if you managed to cover everything in your notes but there really was hardly enough time to do that.

anyway, after waiting for the dreaded phonecall which never arrived, (thank goodness.. that would be the prof's secretary ringing up those who did not make the cut... and would have to come back on monday to take supps) we watched the social network (bloody good. the actor who played winklevoss was very good looking). mark zuckerberg and eduardo are freakin geniuses. if they did THIS much while pursueing their undergraduate degree, i think it will be a very sad thing that i should be this overjoyed with me passing my finals.

headed over to claudine's house after retrieving her car form kenneth's car park which he kindly lent to us for the day.

dinner was at ant's bistro. didn't get any long bean black thingies in my teeth this time hahahah.


kbox with aug jess kai jo ting changhang, jack, albert, kin, claudine. Those HK boys CAN SING.. omg... they put us to shame. Their voices are so velvety. Apparently it's part of the HK culture to Kbox so alot of hong kong people are damn good at kboxing. They were belting out song after song. So impressive. Chang hang himself was quite a good sport as well!

I really want a dog :(

last icu shift.

way to make an impression, jan.
i think Mark davis the head icu vet probably thinks i"m an Idiot. Yes, idiot with a capital I!

i asked mark
why must we measure MAP for the tail pull cat
he said
er... to check if it can get low BP?
then i said, "but why?"
then he said "cos it might die?"
then i said "but why would tail pull injury cats get low MAP"
then he told me the answer...
totally did'nt dawn on me
hypovolaemic shock.

which is something we always address when the animal first comes into ICU that might have suffered from trauma!!!


and dammit always do chest radiographs too.. think jan, THINK!!!

last overnight shift.

WOw ICU== no regrets as an elective! i may not do fantastically well in it, but i'm enjoying it!!!! i mean, where else would you get so involved with individual animal critical care and then get to do a castration and would debridement also?! and then of course i got smeared with blood stained faeces water after this dog had an enema and i helped carry it back to its cage.. of course i had to be handed the bum end. -__-

and then i did 2 consults for cat bite abscesses. i am very very poor at thinking on my feet and explaining stuff. SUPER need to think about it before i start.

and i actually did this other consult for a cat that was gagging while i had blood from the castration caked under my nails... tried to wash it off before touching their cat while i was in teh consult room but really it hardly made a difference.

later in the wee hours of the morning at 5am i helped to clean a dog infested with fleas. help to carry it out of the wash basin, bum end again of course. fleas like the backends of dogs. when i returned to my room in kendall, i saw live fleas crawling on my pants. OMG. i hope the washing detergent gets rid of them cos frankly i dun think capstar will work in the washing machine... hope nothing got into my room as well cos they can bloody survive in carpet for up to 3 months.


got to switch my body clock around by 12 h in the next 24h. how am i going to do that. my shift starts tmrw at 6am. i just finished today at 6am.

Fear is paralysing.

I'm scared shitless about driving my parents to mornington and great ocean road.... PLEASE dear God don't let anything bad happen on those days.

Feeling really sore after a 9h icu shift. I should really strengthen my core muscles abit more... Shall get a gym membership when i return home.

on another note, I've been fantasizing about attending friends' weddings. I CANNOT WAIT. i'm no interior decorator but fairy lights would look really good at a garden wedding, no? SO QUICK MY FRIENDS... GET MARRIED SOON. i wanna share your joys.

YAYNESS.

Mum and hopefully dad has allowed me to keep a caged pet. Perhaps this will provide me with slightly more motivation to study. I'm only going to adopt these animals, so i won't be able to have a wide variety of coat types or ages to choose from, but I'm still excited anyway. Gotta rmb to keep these animals cool with frozen water bottles!!



Did you know the guinea pig is related to the chinchilla?

I'm so cute and fluffy take me home please!

Ick factor x100000

argh... I'm having cow pat diarrhoea. I regret eating half a tin of sunsweet plums. Those are potent.

My 19 year old sister is wayyy more fashionable than me. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN! i need to revamp my wardrobe.

Feels horrible to put down those tiny cute 3 day old chicks for a post mortem.
On another note... girl chicks have 2 layers of feathers, but boy chicks have only 1 layer of feathers as the feather layers grow slowly.

Eye gel

My first foray into expensive skin care. anti ageing for the eyes. 20 years down the road it better prove to have been useful!

gold leaf @ sunshine tomorrow!

Why do I feel so unhappy?
haven't i stuck with my principles all through this time of trials and tribulations? i should be proud of myself. i live by my morals. i try not to be opportunistic, or take things for granted. I can do things on my own. obviously that'll be the harder, more difficult way, life will be tougher, i will be less happy. hopefully it'll be worth it when i look back.

i met eliza for a very very brief time. i should learn to speak more like her... haha. clearer diction and slower. also met her cell group leader. forgot her name. nice girl.

i met up with joann and kenneth... it was good seeing them again after so long... well kenneth for longer. i know i was quite quiet during dinner today. somehow i didn't have much to share about. Jo-ann was excellent at telling us her stories at terang. poor girl got majorly cut up when a pony reared up on her. not doing any mixed practice electives will probably come back and bite me in the ass during exam oral exams.

dentistry seems quite fun. lots of modelling and crafting and making dentures and retainers and moulds that cost $700 or more if you buy them from the dentist.

i mnust try to be happy.

bimbos.

Quick post before i grab some brekkie.

found the place with the cheapest pizzas and pretty nice tasting ones as well. Bimbos. somewhere in fitzroy, near lygon street.

headed there with a couple of vet people. all ang mohs. i was the only non aussie asian international student. AND MAN, IT WAS AWKWARD.

in my final year in vet sc, this is probably my 3rd or 4th time out, going solo without my signpaorean friends or jess or aug joining me, with the aussie bunch. 1st time was to gou climb the 1000 steps at ferntree gully then dinner at skyhihgh with ruth, sheree, hannah, amy.
2nd time was at some german buffet restaurant at dandenong, cuckoo restaurant with my group mates,
and yesterday night, to bimbos with a whole bunch of other people... tom, kenny, sheree, hannah, cass, szymon, ruth. priya and jimson came to join us later, but i didn't talk to them cos they were downstairs waiting for food while i was upstairs eating (in the rain).

look, company was good. they had an entertaining converstation throughout. The thing i realised about convos with the locals is that... i dunno they seem to talk without taking a breath, but they can still say really intrestesing things in their rapid fire of speech, ... like... cass saying.. "I'M ITALIAN, I DON'T SHARE MY FOOD"... priceless.

and then when i try to get my 2cents in... like it just gets drowned by everyone else's voices... So basically, i feel like I'm being a spoilsport or something along those lines about being a wet towel. and then they start talking about sex and random stuff like that and i feel so uncomfortable... i'm not a prude but we just do not talk about these things back home with such ease!

I did not enjoy myself as much as hanging out wiht my asianf riends. yEAH the vet pple are great, but i lack chemistry with all of them. so i spent most of the night listening n laughing and smiling but talking really little, and you should know that when i'm out with my singaporean pals or asian friedns i do most of the talking!


REALLY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE OVER HERE.

anyhoo, the pizza was gorgeous. amazing. had agnello (lamb and rocket) and then chocolate pizza for dessert. Guess how much? $8 in total. and these are WHOLE pizzas.. not a measly slice.

time for breakfast.

Its really annoying when I appreciate people more than they appreciate me. So frustrating. Must remember not to trust and rely on people so much. Unfortunately, this is in Melbourne, and in Melbourne, I need those people. I can't wait to go back to singapore where I have already found the people who accept me for who I am and sincerely want to hang out with me.

Animals and I

Do you even have a soul? If you have one it must be black. You need to know when to stop sticking your nose into other people's businesses and respect people's privacy. Obviously you have not learnt that at all. Looks like you are denser than you look.

Unfulfilled.

I want alot of things I cannot have.

I want a new phone. (easiest thing to achieve on my list. Will do so after graduation. I'm surviving now on my nokia 8250 since my samsung died on me from old age. Could not resuscitate it despite repetitive recharging. Decided not to waste money on a new battery for an old phone which I'm gg to replace in 6 months anyway.)

I want a dog.

I want a nissan GT-R.

I want a kitten if I can't get a dog.

I want a guinea pig if i can't get a kitten. (I will love them all the same)

I want alot of other things that I most likely am unable to get given my current lifestyle and habits and personality.

I day dream alot. Not good for my mental health. Makes me think of things that I cannot get and makes me upset after that for being able to get them.

I guess getting a dog is slightly more feasible than getting a nissan GTR. But that involves me moving out. What will my relatives think?


When will I start feeling blissfully satisfied with my life? Do I really have to be busy in order to distract me away from all this wishful thinking (i mean how on earth am i going to afford a nissan GT-R.... the answer is NEVER.. NOT in a lifetime with the kind of pay that I am going to be earning.)


I've started to worry about my future alot. I am very grateful for my scholarship. But with it comes many expectations, which I am worried I am unable to fulfill in the future. What if they realise that they chose the wrong person? What if I fall short of so many expectations? I'll be a disappointment to many. I don't know if I have the capabilities to handle whatever responsibilities they hand out to me. I do not have one of the brightest minds, I do not have the confidence, I know NUTS about what I'm supposed to be doing.


I hope I don't end up feeling all depressed and useless when I start work because I HAVE felt really depressed before although not in the category of clinical depression after talking to my friend about it.